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Lady, yes, you, has your relationship gotten worse than your most boring lecture? Do you suddenly find yourself eager to be in the library than with your ‘love’? I assure you, your relationship has run out of oil and the engines are complaining.
I was discussing with a brother of mine, Nimi, and he mentioned this lady he is getting to know… and like. They had gone out to a special restaurant the day before and he was asking her if she would want to go to another special place and she asked, “Must we eat?” She went on to tell Nimi that she does not want him spending money unnecessarily. (Shout out to those ladies who are in charge of their boyfriend’s wallets… negatively). (And to those who would eat and buy food in take-away packs every time he takes them out). Nimi and his lady finally walked around a particular area for about two hours, talking, laughing and having fun being together. And they were both happy. Nimi said, “She loves adventure and that makes her different”.
I asked my friends to give at least three things they could do with their partner other than going out to eat. One of them said, “Me I don’t even know ooo, all the girls just want to eat”. Is this true? This article is to those already in relationships and those who intend to be, sooner or later. There is so much more that can be done together.
I got 37 respondents in all; 26 males and 11 females.
1. Movies: 38% of the guys gave watching a movie as an option and this included going to the cinema or staying back indoors to watch it. 36% of females considered movies too. So, you both decide on the next movie to watch. It does not have to be all romance and mushy feelings. It could even be an animation… if you can both agree.
2. Games: indoor and outdoor games were the options for 46% of the males, especially indoor games like board games and video games. Funny enough, 55% of the females agreed with games. I am just not sure if the ladies had the same games in mind when they said. “Play games”. Care has to be taken not to constantly opt for a particular game because one party is ‘addicted’ to it. A list of games can be made, including those ones played in primary school e. g ‘X ‘n O’, brain teasers, hide-and-seek, etc.
3. Talk/Discuss/Gist: it seems our guys do not exactly fancy this option… 31% as compared to the 45% females who consider it a crucial option. This talk should include your relationship but should not be limited to it. You can talk about happenings in the world, the most recent wedding, the trending cars and phones, the things you wish you could change immediately and much more. Guys, you have to learn to not just listen but move conversations forward with your lady. A guy said, “we spend time discussing about our life; our past and intended future. We also spend time learning to be in each other’s presence and enjoying it even when there is nothing to say…” So, the silence is good stuff but don’t miss the opportunity to speak and listen.
4. Walk/Take a stroll: this is even a worse option for the guys. 15% of them mentioned this while 27% of ladies think it could be fun. It just seems low on both sides though. But, trust me, an evening walk with the stars just above the both of you is refreshing.
5. Cook: (lol). Food just has to be eaten even if you are not going out to get it. 19% of the guys would love to do this, yet, they don’t want to stroll. Shaking my head, potbellies await y’all. Well, they are in luck seeing as 27% of ladies would love to do that too. These cooking moments are the times to make mistakes, laugh at and with each other, learn and get it right.
6. “Watch him/her do what he/she is good at”. Just a guy said this and I find it new, yet, so great an idea. Guys and ladies, you have to figure out this into your relationships.
7. Others: study/share the Word and pray together, go to a resort center or comedy show, go on a picnic, go shopping, move ‘stuff’, read academic and non-academic books, take a drive around (lol and meet a hold-up in this Nigeria), go see friends or go out with friends as a group (crowd o!).
This list is endless. The beauty of a relationship is making every aspect of life worth it together with him/her. I remain…