Christmas day came and yours sincerely, I dressed up looking all fine. I mean, I even wore heels! I was going to attend church service and have myself a good Christmas. Yimu!
When Pastor said, “Let’s share the grace in fellowship…” I grabbed my bag and exited the church premises before any of our well-meaning family friends would grab me in the name of stopping me from spending the day reading. I got back to school, carried my note and textbook, phone and charger and went to my friend’s room. I settled down on their rug. And read.
My Christmas meal: jollof rice and meat or was it ponmo, with chilled zobo.
Epic moment: reading
On December 31, I was not even sure if I wanted to go for cross-over service. I was reading something in histopathology and Dr. xxxx’s voice came, “is it clear?!?” every time he asked that in his classes, there was this strong urge to reply him, “charge!” seeing as his ‘clear’ sounded like he was about to defibrillate someone. I wanted to stay and read till it was “clear’ in my head. Then I was reminded that ABH was going to throw a party, Agodi Gardens was going to do the same and the Elderly people’s club behind my block would not be left behind. Me decision was made. I would go and shout into the New Year in church.
Pastor; “it’s some minutes to 12am,
January 1, 2017. What do you want from God this year? Write it down.”
If you are still wondering what I wrote, I am shaking my head for you.
I got back to school, slept and discovered on waking up that some faithful classmate had finally put up ‘Happy New Year’ as the group page title.
January 2, 48 hours to first paper:
I startled awake. “Jesus Christ! Did I just sleep off again? No wonder viral hemorrhagic fever was chasing me with a shock club”.
I met a friend complaining about not knowing what to read anymore.
Another friend, “see, let us go and buy exam biro. All these welfare people bringing sliced bread, only one group gave us biro. Let me just open shop and start selling bread.”
Then January 3 came and some people were still confused about which paper we were to have the next day. Those who were going to have pre-exam prayer had the prayers, faith joining faith, encouragement spilling to all.
January 4; exam day! most of us woke up to many whatsapp and text messages and calls. Summarily, people were wishing us all the best in our exams and God’s favor and good success.
At the exam venue, there were those with ID card issues, those who came with 10 pens and just one pencil for a shading exercise and those who came with all sorts of drinks, prophylaxis for hypoglycemia.
Question papers were distributed.
“800 questions; thank God! All those prophets of doom that were saying 1200 questions. Haba!”
The exam started and the characteristic silence of the exam hall descended, interrupted by one invigilator that was playing a game on his phone. It was 15 minutes to the end, I discovered I had left my histopathology cross-matching blank. “My chest! What’s all these about interleukins and complements? My God! Hypersensitivity types have even mixed up in my head.”
Our exam day two came and viral hemorrhagic fevers left dream land to actually chase me in real life. “Hehehe. You have failed o VHF. My papa and mama have put your type into deliverance session.”
Then, some of our essay questions were just confusing, e. g,
No 6. Write SHORT NOTES on the following;
So, were we to discuss or write short notes?
Exam day three, the mantra for it was ‘classify’.
“plix, 10 types of schizonts/scissors/chisom”. That should be seizures…
“Classify schistosoma drugs? So they have classes? My chest!”
I later learnt some of our able classmates actually answered that question. I hail!
Finally, the weekend came and we were able to breathe, a little. The whatsapp class page kept buzzing with pictures of pathology pots, photomicrographs and what nots. Some classmates tagged a pathology pot a diseased chicken. I and my friends went through photomicrographs and we were almost losing our minds.
“This one looks like staph aureus”
“This one looks like… I don’t even know”
(Answer: xxx, “Oh, oh, oh”)
“This is adult polycystic kidney disease”
“No joor, it is hydronephrosis”
(Answer: something else entirely)
“This is fibroadenoma”
(Answer: squamous cell carcinoma)
“That’s it! Just kill me”
Then, two hours after studying pathology pots, “see ehn, if linitis plastica does not come out, I am walking out of that exam. I mean it!”
Day of pharmacology orals;
Examiner1: what is the current antimalarial management?
Student: ACT. Arte… artemitisin. No, artme…please wait sir…
Examiner1: calm down, take your time
Student: artemisinin combination therapy
Examiner1: okay. Tell me about erythromycin
Student: sir, it is a macrolide…
Student: that’s all I can recall sir
Examiner1: (turns to examiner 2). Dr. xxxx, do you have any question for her?
Examiner 2: is amylin used to treat Diabetes Mellitus type 1?
Student: I don’t think so sir. Diabetes Mellitus type 1 is insulin dependent. (Feeling herself)
Examiner 2: it can. And that’s what came out in your essay. Thank you, you can go.
Student walks out, wondering how many marks the oral exam is, feeling sad until she is told of another student who was asked anti-snake venom.
“Oh. Lol… time to get myself ice cream”.
Day of pathology orals;
Hematology external examiner: do you know Dr. Xxx?
Student: yes ma. He taught us myeloproliferative disorders, CLL…
Examiner: good. Pick one topic and tell me about it
Student: myeloproliferative disorders are…
(Examiner dozes off, student keeps talking)
Student: (rounding off). So, one of the diagnosis includes checking for Philadelphia chromosome
(Examiner startles awake)
Examiner: what is Philadelphia chromosome?
Student: t (9, 22)
Examiner: can it be t (22, 9)?
Student: I don’t think so ma
Examiner: yes, it can.
“Like, this examiner slept through all the proper stuff I was saying and woke up to ask me THAT???”
Able-Bae, i definitely did not forget you.
The just shall live by faith.
9 thoughts on “Behind The Scenes MB PartII: the End…”
Reblogged this on KLATSCH ONLINE and commented:
It cmae to pass! Thank you for all the love.
So many medical jargons I can’t relate with.
I apologise. I will repent.
Whao!Eunice,you captured every single part of the exam so well.Nice read!Lol…artemitisin,arteme. . ..please wait sir(as if to say “I am not about to lose this”),hehehehehe.
Hehehehe. Thank you Mike. Glad you enjoyed it.
Please write more jargons for us, we need to see what we escaped by not dreaming about medicine.
You really did escape. Some of us still like it here though. Thanks for reading and enjoying.
Nice one Eunice “is it clear? U better not come to the exam hall if u don’t know this” lol.. . More grace ma.
Thank you Santus