Permit me to begin with shout outs to some very important people. If you like, don’t permit…
Those classmates that walked around in the same clothes for days
Those who turned the reading room and library to their rooms
Those who poured wet clothes on their bed and relocated to the room of their friend just to fight sleep
Those who kept getting chubby and looking fresh
Those who migrated between many tutorial groups
Those groups that just abandoned the whole idea of group tutorials
Those who would not leave a spot because they were trying to remember stuff they just read
My Dad and mum, your welfare was more than I could ever ask or think
PDO, keep tormenting your big sister with pictures of food. My food album awaits you!
B.D and B.J, e ku itoju aburo yin
Buks, for the best pre- exam treat
Xyxcamiy and Diidi, you two are just amazing
Mide, thanks for celebrating your birthday notwithstanding
Mince, “I ate well during the exam, I promise.”
Quest, thanks for being there. That pen is so on point!
Eke-maxi, your Yoruba husband issnor far away Kankan
Dearest B, thanks for your tough love
JK, thanks for attending to my welfare
Victor, “yes, I am a case.”
Oladipupo K, Olamide Ridwan, Oladapo, My Igboora Crush and other great people
So, I was in my room enjoying the peace of God when I was informed that our exams were to start 26th of December, 2016. The first thought that came to mind was, “they don’t even want the Christmas chicken to digest properly”. I was still perplexed at this information when my phone rang. It was my brother wondering if I was coming home to enjoy the chicken, turkey and unfortunate rabbits that were going to pass on with the season. I could not hide the sadness when I told him about the exam date. His response was, “this your MBBS though, it is well”.
I dropped the phone and looked around the room and it dawned on me how calorie-empty it was. “If something is not done, I would tilt myself into severe hypoglycemia and possible brain damage. I need food. But, there’s no money. Should I consider this Ultimate Cycler thing or MMM…” I opened whatsapp on my phone only to discover one +234xxxx….had changed the title of our class page to, “116 days to MB partII”.
“That’s how these ones would keep counting till it is one minute to the first paper.”
Surely, oer days, there were some faithfuls who were devoted to keeping up the countdown. There was even one, 12am sharp, she would have changed it. Meanwhile, somewhere in our great hostel, Alexander Brown Hall, one student was experiencing skipped beats every time the number of days decreased.
Reading began or at least, efforts towards reading began. Some were still trying to fill up their autopsy booklets. There was this classmate that checked the autopsy room every day. It got me worried, “hope this one will not go and look for dead bodies for compulsory autopsy”.
Some weeks later, a friend told me the exam date had been shifted to January 4. “Shoki!” “Awon ogun orun gbo adura wa ni sha”. (Our prayers have definitely been answered). I eagerly picked up my phone, summoning courage to change and adjust the countdown on the class page title. I found out one faithful +234xxx… had changed the group title…
Smh, “some people just have no chill”.
At this point several calls started going out to parents of medical students of the University of Ibadan in our level all over the world.
“Hello mummy, I need exam welfare.”
“My dear, you have all the welfare you need. I and your dad are always praying for you. Don’t worry, you have passed ehn. Eat well o…”
“Ehn mummy, that’s what I was talking about, not spiritual welfare.”
(Mummy ends call)
“Hello? Hello? He… mummy… hello?”
To add salt to injury, people who suffered the above fate were surrounded by neighbors who kept bringing back bags and bags of foodstuff and provision. With the fear of starvation looming, they had to calculate their expected incoming welfare.
It went something like;
“At least, there should be fellowship welfare. But, what if mumsy welfare declares a fast? Or should I just start attending that other fellowship? What of OSUNMSA, CMDA, UIMSA? These ones too should give me welfare now. Let’s hope their welfare makes sense.”
Then, revision posting towards exams was over. The bold and courageous ones packed their bags to go spend at least Christmas with their families. The rest of us hailed them while hugging our books. “I will not let go of you father Robbins, I promise. Notwithstanding the big turkey picture my naughty sister sent, I remain loyal!”