Just about people getting married… A very huge step I must say; becoming totally committed to one person for the rest of your life (as long as the person does not die before you).
I don’t know if I am the only weird one, but I sometimes come to the conclusion that I might not be able to stay with one person. Now, hold on, don’t go concluding why, especially those of you already in relationships, heading towards marriage. I’ll try and explain.
This is not about being greedy. lol. It is more of the fact that, over the years, friends are made. Some get to be very close and cherished. These are people you enjoy hanging out with, people you have great conversations with, you might even share deep secrets with some of them. Well, once you enter a relationship, it’s not like you cut them off entirely, it just happens that things can never be the same again. You now have to consider ‘this person’ before other persons. And when you get married, that’s just the seal.
No one is asking you to cheat on your spouse. God frowns at that and so do i. but if you are like me (with my habit of so many close friends), it is important that once a relationship heading towards marriage kicks off, other friends have to be made AWARE. They have to know where the limits come in, where the boundary lines are drawn. Else, you will find yourself in murky waters more often than not. Please, please, though, do not marry/court an insecure and/or extremely jealous person. People like that would not be satisfied until you have cut off every other person that isn’t them. And that is unhealthy.
There is also the issue of how long to court before marriage. My parents would definitely advise you to allow God lead you but try not to elongate things unnecessarily (they courted for 6yr).
Meanwhile, some friends of mine think that the longer the courtship, the better you two get to know each other. I do not disagree. I will onlly add that there is a lot of pretense in courtship. If the person is bent on marrying you, theey can increase the level of pretense so much so that everyone is fooled. So, long courtships do not eliminate the “bad factors”.
Some are of the opinion that it depends on the age of the parties involved and how close the alarm of their biological clock is to going off. If they think they still have time, they can court till kingdom come. But if they (especially the ladies) are already dreaming of Downs Syndrome children, they can propose, court and marry within a week. In summary, wisdom is profitable to guide. All the best. As for me, i remain: