Sitting on a toilet

Musings of Shit: I Think My Toilet Might be Telling Me Som’ng.

You know where I am. It is the sacred place where poets, writers and magicians meet with the gods of creation, liaison with the angels of inspiration and get into all sorts of muse-like revelations. It is the one place where if you go into a spell or faint or even die, no one may interrupt you for a while because your privacy in the loo is much more important than your presence in life. Don’t take this wrongly. Nobody prays to die in the toilet, especially when the last act involved a number two. The combined smells of death and shit would be too overwhelming for the unfortunate soul that finds you first. He or she or it (as it may be your dog or cat or rat) would be unable to express true emotions as regards your death. Trust me, the first expletive rendered would be because of the stench, not the fact that the already overpopulated world is down by one person.

Enough about death and let’s talk about life.

First off, whoever thought that the toilet must be used the way we use it? you delicately balance your gluteal and perineal regions on a ceramic bowl and pray to God it does not collapse underneath you and then quickly add a request that no slithering, hissing creature lunges for your butt from within the waters. I don’t know about you but that’s a lot of prayers for someplace that is not an altar. With that done, you get comfortable, comfortable enough to sit for more than the time it takes to eat a sandwich, then you graduate into bringing a book along and finishing chapters in there. Some of us take social media with us and while we like, retweet and sahre, we are getting comfortable with the smell of our byproducts.

Why then do we sit facing away from the slab that covers the toilet engine? I would think that with that much time spent in there, we would like to be able to rest our heads on something.

And I have not even talked about the emotions we take to the loo. Oh My God!

hello there, missed me?

I have about 15 pages of Musings… started off in March last year and ends with, “… I’ll just let it slide” which rightly summarizes these writings.

They are nonfiction, incomplete and somewhat unrelated to one another but infused with a lot of humor and life lessons. I’ll be putting out some and reserving the rest for my Big Book. You will enjoy them. And then, I’ll pause them to give you updates on other current nonfiction stories. I will go off again for a while because as I have come to realize, I am a doctor first and that sometimes , most times, draws life out of my life so that I can focus on the numerous other lives out there coming with myriads of Presenting Complaints. And, you will wonder, again, if I still write… as I do wonder myself.

Thank you.

About the Author

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You may also like these

%d bloggers like this: