Dear Cozy.

Dear Cozy,

If life gives you lemons, ask for salt and vinegar.

You are Yoruba, that is because your father and I are Yoruba. I am sure I have explained how we came about your name. #winks.

Now, there are some things I am not going to be disturbing my head about in our culture; a child who is a southpaw, giving an elderly person something with your left hand, adding titles to people’s names in the name of respect, not allowing a child talk in the midst of elders… Those things have been done away with.

I am glad you’re southpaw. It adds to your uniqueness and I am sure the ladies don’t stop fawning over you.

The core things being Yoruba mean though, I would ensure you learn those;

Respect: both for those older and younger than you. Respect is not just in the physical, it starts from the inside.

Family: family is important, both nuclear and extended. It is who we are, what makes us a community.

Support: you are not here just for yourself. Look around you, who needs help or support? Do something.

I’d still get you ankara and lace materials and make sure you speak Yoruba fluently, you cannot afford to disgrace me on those ones.

Love, Mum.

Dear Cozy,

If life gives you lemons, ask for salt and vinegar.

Make sure you own your happiness. Yes, own it.

Many people out there find it difficult to be happy and glad by themselves. They can’t watch a movie alone and enjoy, solo shopping is not possible, taking a walk or going to the zoo alone is an abomination. They can’t even treat themselves to a bowl of ice cream and enjoy it. That is sad.

You are the CEO of your happiness. You don’t have to have someone around to make you feel happy. Also, don’t let people’s sour moods rub off on you.

I do not mean you should be insensitive. I do not mean laugh at people. I am saying, you are your own boss of happiness.

Love, Mum.

Just a Little More…

1. Culture shouldn’t be looked down on. It is rich and forms a core part of how we live. However, some parts of culture need to be left out. They don’t make anyone better and they aren’t progressive habits.

2. Happiness shouldn’t depend on anyone. If you aren’t happy on your own, looking for someone to make you happy is placing an unnecessary burden on such a one. This is why some relationships don’t work. One party is so dependent on the other, it is near impossible to be happy once the other isn’t available. That’s very unhealthy.