(Trust me, this part wasn’t intended in the original post. But, I woke up early today and looked over at Becquerel, happily sleeping and probably engaging with her orchestra team. Wasn’t she going to school? Does she have a holiday? Well, when she finally woke up, she looked at me and said, “Aunty, sebi today is Saturday?” And she cat-walked into the bathroom. Should I tell her?)
Now, to today’s post…
Being a medical doctor and a graduate of etiquettes and acceptable social behaviours as taught majorly by Dr.(Miss) A. O. A and Dr.(Miss) O. M. A, I felt led to impart some of the knowledge gained into my new roommate.
Also, sincerely yours, I was not sure how much more I could take before totally losing it. The only consolation I had so far was that her farts were all bark but no bite… smell. Else, people, your girl would have gone berserk.
“Becquerel, good morning. Slept well?”
The young lady was washing plates and from her non-committal response, one would have thought the glass bowl I had been using before she was born was somehow older than me and required more respect from her.
Well, I continued, “You know, you don’t have to fart up the whole house to prove your greatness.” Planetshakers kinda fart, Lord help!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am at the brink of tears as I write this.
Becquerel dropped the plate, wiped her hands and then faced me,
“Aunty ‘Unit’, I can’t keep it inside. No, it has to be let out. That is the only way I won’t die. Don’t you know farts are poisonous?”
I was shook! I got thinking about the gases in our fart and I almost started nodding. But then, I thought, Eunice, this is about decorum. She needs to be taught decorum in farts and words. Farts for now though.
I was about to tell her my exact thoughts when I looked around me. Becquerel had gone. Not even a thank you for the talk.
My chest was in pain.
There I was trying to be a big sister who was not going to stand by and allow this girl disgrace herself in public. Please, was I wrong?