Scarlet.

I smiled again at this word that had me amused since D mentioned it. I even went online to check for its meaning. A color between red and orange. Sinful. Immoral. Most of them gave white as its opposite.

I like white… snow. I dislike red. D was asking for bloody-red… Scarlet. “Will you watch me dress up? Will you join me in the bathroom?” These sounded like jokes but with constant repitition, I began to wonder if D meant them.

I knew how tempting it was to throw all caution to the wind but i had been brought up to understand the importance of  Time, Place, Person… and God. To my knowledge, that was not the time nor place and I was not even sure of the person… D. He was surrounded by many scarlet-givers already. Why should I join the horde of them? Besides, each time I brought up our ‘friendship’, he found a way of turning it off. “Are you sure of what you want from me?”

Yet. When he kept asking that i come visit him, I finally agreed. His room… all white, rugged, A/C on, large bed with duvet and cozy. Of course, it was strange with those childhood warnings blaring in my head, “never stay alone with a guy behind closed doors”, “don’t give room for temptations”. I was giving temptation a house, not just a room.

D taught me to stand on my toes when hugging a guy taller than me. He showed me that my weight was no hinderance to being carried like a baby. He made me dance… outside church and my room. He kissed me. He talked with me. He listened. He taught me academic stuff. He made me read and enjoy reading.

Yes… I see you falling for him too.

Then, our first quarrel.