Female target; CHECK!

I woke up feeling extremely tired; my eyes ached, my head seemed like the meeting point for drummers and my body felt too heavy to belong to me. In summary, I was not sure if I actually slept or I had only imagined doing so. This was one of those days I was tempted to stay indoors, convincing myself that, “a lion is in the street” waiting to devour me if I ventured out. But, I had an appointment with my editor, Kunle.
Hm… just a little bit on Kunle; He is one of those guys who believe nothing else matters till they have prospered abundantly. He is all about business and busyness. In a 30minutes conversation with him, Kunle would have glanced at his wristwatch not less than six times. Rolex, by the way. He is handsome, take it from me. Half-caste is what they are called, those ones with a parent from ‘the overseas’, giving them that fresh skin and look. His English is perfect and despite his default ‘I am serious’ mode, he knows how to be funny. Like that day he said I would eventually marry him. Or was he being serious?
Forgive me. I said, “Just a little bit”. He is helping me with my second novel.
After overcoming my initial inertia, I got into my cute navy blue Toyota Corolla just as my phone started ringing. Tope.
“hello… yes, I’m alive. Yes, I ate last night. I am fine. No… no… I can manage on my own. Yeah, yeah… you too.”
He is in love with me. I am not even in like with him. He had made himself my “are-you-fine” guard, always asking if I had eaten, what I ate, what I would eat, if I was alive (rolling my eyes) and if I would still be alive on my own. Like??? The only reason I had not thrown him out the window was that my mum liked him the most out of all my younger sister’s childhood friends. Yes, he is three years younger than me. Mum says she sees potential in him (arms akimbo… prophetess is she?)
Walking into Kunle’s office, I caught my reflection in his glass door. Was my little black dress right? My curves had always been there but this dress seemed to blare horns around them. I hoped I was not going to be giving off the wrong signal. I did not remember to pray about the dress. Dear Lord!
“Good morning Miss Odukoya, you kept to your appointment. Meet my close friend, Daniel”.
I turned to exchange pleasantries with Daniel and I could feel my knees knock as the face registered in my head.
“Jumoke Odukoya…”
That voice! That voice only; deep, confident, dark chocolaty, the voice of Daniel Onanuga. I thought I would never hear it again.
“It is nice to meet you sir… uhm, again.”
I don’t know how you guys do it. Within minutes, it seemed the both of them had made their intentions about me known to each other, even without words. “She is mine, stay off!”
Describing that editing session as awkward is me being nice and gentle. I was the last piece of cheese left between two gangster rats who were ready to play dirty. Daniel at some point even suggested I sit on his laps… the effrontery!
These two were best of friends and they were already drawing battle lines. I know I’m beautiful and all, but, chill pills please!
Daniel Onanuga had always been picture perfect husband material; Just as handsome as Kunle but dark. He is not black, please, there is a difference. Google it. Lol. He was serious about life but also able to enjoy things enjoyable in life. Did I say he was perfect? Scratch that! Daniel could drink like a fish and he gave no apology.
Back at home,  I sat down to ponder my 25year old life.  Things were not entirely bad. My first novel was doing great, more and more invitations to speak were coming in, my studies were going on fine and I had two main guys, make that three main guys vying for my attention. And about three or four other guys showing interest. I was okay, right?
But then, I remembered just few years back when I was 22years old. It seemed I was going to drown in the sea of guys sending love filled messages and using sweet and charming words on phone calls. Gradually, their number dwindled and trickled off till these six or seven were left. And I could sense it, In some months, there would be even less left and it seemed none of them was ‘him’.

 That time of being ‘hot’ in the market was gradually coming to an end. Chineke! Even though mum kept reminding me of waiting on God, she was also the one asking, “Jumoke, how far now?” I was ready for a serious marriage –targeting relationship but I was not about to jump into any ship with just any captain. All these guys had one ‘but’ or the other and I had learnt from experience. Any ‘but’ is a potential bomb. (Wow that sounded like a punch line. Write it down.)
The smell of burnt rice drew me out of my sober reflection. How could I be burning money anyhow in this economic state? The rice was meant for I and James, my bestfriend. Yes, another guy. Yes, he is one of them too.
Just kill me already!
There is that point in every female’s life where it seems all her male friends suddenly noticed the yard length of her wife materialness. They start proposing marriage or she can see them at the verge of doing so. For some ladies, it is pleasurable, with a head swelling “garri Ijebu” like effect. But for others, it comes with some level of disturbance especially when the guys are close friends to her and some of the guys are even friends who know one another well.
Even if a lady dates all, she cannot marry all. Why would you even want to date all? To what end? I digress.
What should a lady do at such a point in her life?
AIMS:
To not deliberately make enemies.
To politely turn down the out rightly off ones.
To keep those that would still remain just friends.
To identify ‘the one’. Yes, I believe in that.
To keep her sanity and peace.
We shall touch on how to go about these later.
#peo.